referendum on who is my friend

I can't help but feel that Prop 8 has become a sort of referendum on who is my friend.
Obviously, on the surface, that's not what it's about at all, but the implicit message is right there. At the interfaith service against Prop 8, one of the families who gave testimonies said, "When I see a 'No on 8' sign, I know a friend has been here." And in reverse, when I see a "Yes on 8" sign, I feel a little scared. I think "here is someone who doesn't see me." I start wondering about the cars with "Yes on 8" bumperstickers while I'm riding my bike, i wonder if they'd hit me if they knew I was getting married to a man - if they would see me as the same kind of human as they are. It's all there all the time, the people who hate my sexuality and the people who don't care, but this election is bringing it out. It feels like not a referendum about a constitutional amendment but an exercise in subtle homophobia. People who may not have such a strong opinion in favor of heterosexual marriage can find - in the cause against same-sex marriage - a way to vote in their fear/hatred of homosexuality. I guess it's not so different from racism: the subtle racism and cultural conditioning are always there, but when something like an election between a white and a multiracial candidate can come across as a vote for or against the ability of people of color to be President (and aside from people with real disagreements with Obama's politics, I think there is a subsection of voters who are just vaguely uncomfortable with a President of color, or with their perceptions of his suitability). So my feelings are probably not entirely different from a person of color who walks in the world and wonders who is friendly and who believes they are stupid or lazy or whatever stereotype.
It's also a reality check. This is the Bay Area after all, a place where same-sex marriage is conceivable, compared with may places where it is not. It's a reality check that there are many who dislike my sexuality and will go to lengths to make that dislike concrete in the legal system (and some who will go so far as to commit violence - physical, verbal, and otherwise - to make their point clear). I do know that if Prop 8 passes, I will feel more unsafe doing my everyday things - more unsafe walking around, getting groceries, going to a movie with my partner, holding his hand. It's funny how it's not "just" an election on so many levels. It's gut-personal, and the anxiety levels are skyrocketing.