Here are a few reactions to the election:
1. I realized I didn't dare to pin my hopes on Obama becoming president. I didn't trust white people in particular to follow through with voting - the Bradley effect. Bigger than that, I didn't want to pin my hopes that the Bush continuity would be halted by an Obama win. So when it happened - early - and by suprise after Virginia's delegates were in, I was in a sort of elated shock. Was it really happening? And McCain's gracious but a little rambling speech was good to see (compare the crowd of his supporters to the Obama crowd, for example, and the way he seemed to be implying 'this one's for the African-Americans' as if it's not the nation itself who wins by Obama's politics). And yes, I cried during Obama's acceptance speech.
3. I realized that I have four years of prayer and worry ahead, in my concern for Obama's life. I don't trust white supremacists to react nonviolently to something like this - though I do expect the rest of us to point out how wrong they would be, and to protect everyone we love from hatred.
4. I also realized, watching the Obama family on stage, that I'm very excited about Michelle Obama as First Lady. Smart, strong, articulate, tough, independent, stylish...I'm excited to see what her agenda will be, too.
5. I also didn't quite dare to hope, given my familiarity with anti-gay sentiments, that same-sex marriage would really be allowed. Though this morning I felt a little like someone had come into my house and taken our couch, saying "you don't deserve this."
6. I felt reality this morning, after dancing in the streets of Oakland last night. The reality of anti-gay sentiment among many people, especially when it's whipped up by the Yes on 8 campaign's tactics. I feel a little chastened by the reminder, like I was too audacious to think that people wouldn't buy the rhetoric - that prop 8 would mean teachers had to teach about gay marriage (as if the amendment was about an educational curriculum) or that same-sex marriage has a negative impact on heterosexual marriage. Explain to me how my love and commitment to my partner does anything to mess up the love and commitment of my sister and her husband. I don't get it. Their marriage doesn't impact mine, except as I look to their example of 2 people who are in happy and successful married partnership. I feel like I've been put in my place for "daring" to assume that my relationship was not a subject for voter approval. I'm left where I was before the Supreme Court decision - still engaged and planning to marry my partner - but also thinking more carefully about where we can take vacations in California. Where will we face hatred for holding hands in public?
7. I am already tired of the trope that "people of color are specifically motivated to vote for Obama, and are also mostly homophobic, so of course Prop 8 won." I don't have time now, but I want to compare maps of the Prop 8 vote and demographics. It appears to me that the middle counties of California voted in Prop 8, and as far as I know, those are counties with larger white populations. "People of color hate gays" is a cynical manipulation - because some people of color are gay, first of all. I think on deeper analysis, something could be said about the tendency of white Europeans (as colonists) to project characteristics on "natives" that they feel too "civilised" to admit they have. Sexuality being one way it's been done.
Okay, enough for now.
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2 comments:
Thanks for all your reflections so early on. I find myself still processing. Well, to be truthful, still waking up.
I think I knew Obama was going to win, even if some kind of Bradley affect had taken place, it seemed he had enough of an electoral cushion to pull it out. But! When he actually did win, I wasn't surprised with how moved I would feel...I was crying, wanted to go somewhere private and sob. I saw all the commentators tear up when they called the election, and it just seems that everyone (well, most everyone) has been dying for some movement beyond Bush politics, and we got it in spades last night.
I saw f**cking American flags flying in the Castro last night. People driving around, honking, dancing, shutting down blocks of streets, with American flags. I honestly don't think I've *ever* seen an American flag in SF before. The sight of it was shocking and amazing. Again, still processing.
And I totally agree...I am psyched about this first lady and first family. 4 years ago I saw Michelle introduce her husband who had just been elected to the US Senate. She seemed so serene and strong and intelligent and yes stylish, and my thought was, "Put these two in the White House!" And here we have it. I might start crying again...
Would love to here more about Oaktown celebrating the election...
Oh! One more thing about race politics and Prop 8. Yesterday Shelley and I went to Fell and Octavia to hold up "No on Prop 8" signs with a bunch of other folks. We were out from 11-2 and got a lot of support, and some thumbs down, middle fingers up, and an unfortunate banana thrown from a car. I can tell you that there was no way to tell from race the way a person was going to respond to us. I saw a black man with a cross in her car wave fanatically at me and give me the thumbs up. Middle aged white women walking on the sidewalk avoided us at all cost. A car full of Latino men pulled up and asked me for stickers. A car full of young white men told me I was a sicko. It was one intersection for 3 hours and by no way statistically significant, but it was surprising, and it made me wonder how simplistic the media coverage concerning race and gay marriage is. Something to look in to...
I, like Eli, feel like I'm waking up.
Slowly.
Tears began at 12:45 p.m. after the excitement calmed down a tad. Here at the hospital. Seeing the flag. It was like all of sudden I could physically sense the tears of all my dyke friends everywhere, but especially the ones in LA who have been calling me for help in the last 6 months as their surrounding communities badgered and abused them. I called James and confessed how guilty I felt for not doing more political work around Prop 8. Wished I had held street signs and made calls. Cried and cried.
On the one hand I feel like there's all kinds of evidence that "things change." And yet, there's a part of me that sees such evidence and thinks: "yeah, except for certain things." It almost makes the passing of prop 8 more painful. How can there be such profound movement in some ways and pure stagnation (if not regression) in others?? I hear some puffed up chaplain saying "that's life: the good and the bad." Yeah, well fuck that. It's unfair and fucked up.
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