Swedenborg / creation

I'm reading a few pamphlets put out by the Swedenborgian church, and I have to say I'm charmed. There's something that feels unwholesome about the revere they have for this guy Emmanuel Swedenborg, but I'm probably just being cynical. He certainly did a lot of amazing things. He also seems to have some amazing spiritual insights. It's got me thinking about God and creation this time. My supervisor last week was asking about how I saw homosexuality fitting into "God's plan." I had a lot of roundabout ways of talking about it, because I had to resolve the question of "Does God have a plan?" (No....er, not exactly a plan, but an impulse, a desire toward love, authenticity, and relationships) and "Did God create Creation?" (No...er, not exactly, but the physical world is a part of God, so that God and the material world coexist and pre-exist....). Because if God had a plan and created Creation, then it runs into the problem of God causing suffering and evil. Which I don't buy. So do I believe that my gayness is a "gift from God"? No...er, not exactly....not in a special way. But being gay is a gift in its own way, just as all parts of myself are a gift. Just like sexuality itself is a gift. Just like anything powerful enough to be harmful and helpful. And part of our jobs as humans is to figure out how to be drawn toward love, relationships, joy, authenticity, and justice--using the powerful gifts we have. It's a little torturous, and I'm wondering if there's an easier way to go about it. Maybe I'm splitting hairs over words like "plan" and "creation."