backpacking / survival

Over the weekend, my partner and I went on a backpacking trip to Lassen Volcanic National Park (in Lassen National Forest). Lassen is an old growth forest, and there was a fire in a area in 2004. Plus it's a relatively dry climate. So we got to see a lot of destruction, decay, and regeneration. Some areas were pretty bleak, with just the jagged, blackened hulks of trees and a lot of sandy ash on the ground--but a lot of areas had selective burns--only the driest of trees burned while the greener living trees kept right on living. Before we left, we went to a ranger talk about some of the trees. My new favorite tree is the Lodgepole Pine. It has two types of cones--one of which is covered with thick wax that only activates in the presence of a lot of heat--namely a forest fire. The Lodgepole is one of the first trees to repopulate an area after a fire, and its bark is relatively thin because it doesn't need to withstand fire. The other part I noticed about the tree skeletons is that some trees seemed to have grown in a twist, as if under the bark, the tree was rotating itself, ending up like a candy cane, while others grew straight up and down. I was curious about how the different growth patterns helped support the tree's strength in growing tall and withstanding wind.
I'm fascinated by all this, and it reminds me of talking with my mother-in-law about the role of community and individuality in people's lives. Where she grew up, extended families function as retirement accounts, where those who can make money share it with those who are struggling. We also talked about the falseness of the American image of individuality and self-reliance--people do not get where they're at by their own effort--it depends a lot on how our families raised us, what opportunities and supports we had when we couldn't take care of ourselves. It has a lot to do with privilege and how much we trust that we'll be taken care of. How we grow, and what grows around us, does a lot to determine how we survive tough times.
The other thing I think about is survival beyond the individual. The Lodgepole Pine says "Even if I don't survive, *we* survive." As we hiked, I tried to think of the human equivalent of a pinecone covered in wax. Being the religious sorta person I am, I think about sacred texts that have been passed down for generations. Our myths and stories contain wisdom that's not always easy to see on the surface, and hopefully some of that wisdom helps us survive even beyond individual survival.
Which of course leads into my rant that reading a religious story (or any mythical story, even many movie plots) solely on the surface means that we miss the deeper wisdom. Stories tell us who we are, and the stories we tell shape us just as much as we shape the stories. It makes me crazy when people read the Bible, for example, as if it's literally true. Why not read it the way we read about Greek and Roman Gods? They don't exist in a literal way, but they also have some interesting truths about humanity. And not just ancient stories, but many modern storytellers (James Baldwin, Dorothy Allison....) participate in this process too.
So at the end of the day, maybe it's just me, but I like those connections. We can learn a few things from an old-growth forest.

It's a Family Thing

August 21, 6-8pm
First Congregational Church of Oakland - 2501 Harrison at 27th in Oakland (across from Oakland Whole Foods)
Join African-American clergy, community leaders, elected officials, and legal scholars on a panel and conversation about the freedom to marry for the African-American LGBT community.

U People / Shirts & Skins

Friday evening, we went to the second night of the Oakland International Black LGBT Film Festival.
We watched a short about two women meeting after car trouble on a deserted highway, a documentary about the making of a Hanifah Walidah music video , and two episodes from an upcoming LOGO show .

U People (the documentary) and Shirts & Skins (the TV show) were an interesting double feature. Both took place, mostly, in a house, and both had people sharing their lives and experiences, talking from the heart, and laughter, anger, and tears. But the result was strikingly different. U People, a gathering of Black women making a video and talking about their lives, was incredibly rich, with a wide range of perspectives and experiences. They spoke from their hearts about their own lives, educating and supporting each other--and we in the audience got the privilege to hear it. It was naturally political (as opposed to intentionally structured to evoke a response), diverse in perspective, entirely approachable and unapologetic, and had really great clothes and music. What more could you ask for?
Shirts & Skins was a docu...I mean reality show about the SF Rockdogs--a gay men's basketball team with a history of gold medals at the Gay Games, who fell apart after the 2006. The show brings old and new players together in a house as they prepare and fundraise for the next Gay Games. It's a great premise, bringing different ages, race/ethnicities, and perspectives of gay men together to play basketball and share their lives. And, honestly, it's an engaging story that touches on important stuff like being out or not, family conflicts, religion and homosexuality, and the difficulties of being gay in sports. And John Amaechi, a gay former NBA player, costars as a mentor. But the frustrating thing is the reality TV. After two episodes, the high drama is stoked, and the reality show roles are being fulfilled: the identified patient, the earnest one, the playboy, the exasperated caretaking parent (a white guy who refers to them all as "my boys," an embarrassingly and infuriatingly ignorant thing for a white man to say about a Black man)...it gets a little too TV when I want something a little more real. The Rockdogs are interesting enough as a team, the motivation to be role models to young gay people who want to play sports is a beautiful thing, and the story of a team trying to mend itself back together is engaging enough--we don't need the reality TV overlay that makes everything emotionally frenetic and artificially full of drama.
Then again, my partner said he liked watching Real World when he was 16, and that's exactly the demographic of young people who ought to see talented, out gay people playing great sports.

it is finished

Friday was my last day of the chaplain residency. CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education, the method of learning used in chaplain education) was transformative, frustrating, liberating... I may have more to say later, but all I can say now is that I am done saying goodbye for a while (2 weeks' worth of "closure" exercises and opportunities wears me out, when I'm used to maybe a days' worth). AND I don't want to learn another damn thing about myself for two solid weeks. A year of intensive introspection is difficult, even for someone like me, who was born gazing at my navel).

My partner and Mama were very sweet. She cooked me a special dinner to celebrate my graduation on Thursday, and he brought me flowers and chocolate and had a nice little celebration Friday after work.